GAME ON PLANO
Official Terms & Conditions
(Pursuant to Section 4(2)(a) of the Games Night Constitution, Cap. Dallas, Laws of Good Vibes.)
WHEREAS, you have voluntarily elected to attend GAME ON PLANO; and
WHEREAS, common sense may temporarily leave the building after the first game;
NOW, THEREFORE, be it known that you agree to the following:
I. Competitive Conduct
Any statement including, but not limited to:
- "I just came to vibe."
- "I was joking."
- "I'm not competitive."
shall become null, void, and laughably unenforceable immediately after the first round.
II. Luck & Humbling
Luck reserves the exclusive right to embarrass anybody at any time.
No appeals. No VAR. No "check am again."
III. Confidence Clause
Any declaration such as:
- "I am the GOAT."
- "Bring anybody."
- "Nobody fit touch me."
shall expire automatically upon your first loss.
IV. Gbas Gbos Provision
Notwithstanding any subsequent gbas gbos, side-eye, table slapping, or "E no count!", the official result shall stand.
Respectfully... it is what it is.
V. Robbery Allegations
It is reasonably foreseeable that one or more Participants shall depart the premises insisting:
- "Una cheat."
- "That one no count."
- "Run am back."
- "Na luck carry una."
Such complaints shall be received, acknowledged, and immediately ignored.
VI. Post-Match Press Conference
Winning is optional.
Excuses are guaranteed.
VII. Rematch Covenant
Participants acknowledge that the phrase:
"Oya, one last game."
is legally understood to mean at least four more games.
FINAL DECLARATION
By entering the premises, eating or drinking, sitting on a chair, rolling a dice, drawing a card, or loudly announcing "No dulling!", you irrevocably consent to these entirely unserious, spectacularly unnecessary, and absolutely unenforceable Terms & Conditions.
Signed on behalf of the GAME ON PLANO Legal Chambers
Barristers & Solicitors of the Federal Republic of Vibes
"Justice Must Be Played."